Attention, Guardsman! You are being assigned to a war zone with an unusual climatological anomaly. Due to the relatively low levels of development at your target drop site, ice particles […]
You are being assigned to a war zone with an unusual climatological anomaly. Due to the relatively low levels of development at your target drop site, ice particles on this world gather in the stratosphere to form a cold, white substance known as snow. We are sure you are disappointed. Rest assured that future industrial operations by the Adeptus Mechanicus will stabilise the climate,* but until then, this ?snow? is not something to be feared** but rather a weapon to be harnessed. After several decades of consultation, we are delighted to authorise the use of several snow-based improvised constructs. Instructions are provided below.
Snow Template Constructs (STCs)
Authorised For Combat Use
Spherical Non-lethal Endothermic Projectile
Out of laspacks? By gathering up snow in your hands and compacting it into a spherical shape, you can fashion a decent-quality improvised projectile. For lethality beaten only by a lasgun, the addition of a stone core to the weapon makes it a powerful short-range deterrent.
Hydrolysed Facsimile Guardsman
The Astra Militarum is a terrifying sight for the enemy. No use of ?tactics? or ?strategy? can stand up to sheer numerical superiority ? any enemy who fights you knows that you and your soldiers would gladly lay down your lives to take but an inch of ground for your fellows.
This approach has one disadvantage, in that after a few weeks of campaigning, initial waves of Guardsmen lose their grandeur as what was once an unbreakable wall of soldiers becomes a somewhat patchy fence of battle-worn veterans. By constructing a few facsimiles from snow, you will be able to ensure your front lines retain their intimidation value. Should anyone get close enough to tell the difference, you will be executed for failing to properly defend against the foe, making this a win-win.
Orbit-viewable Recessed Sanguinius Microcarving
Cold conditions can interfere with the proper giving of praise to the Emperor and His works. Stripping ones clothing off to perform ritual flagellation is ill-advised in extreme temperatures, while bellowed praises to Him on Terra are often mitigated by the sound-absorbing properties of snow. Nevertheless, by falling to your back and repeatedly spreading your arms and legs, you can create a fairly convincing engraving of Sanguinius.
May these innovations serve you well, Guardsmen!
++ Thought for the Day: The Universe has a cold, unforgiving heart and cares not for the lives of men. ++
* In the absence of the gently scouring effects of acid rain you may be accustomed to, all cleaning shifts have been doubled in order to maintain proper appearances.
** For hiveborn recruits, please consult the reading material provided on your enlistment, with particular reference to ‘Things The Ceiling Does: A Guide To The Sky.’
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