The Regimental Standard: The Loudest of Heresies

Featured

The Regimental Standard: The Loudest of Heresies

Attention, Guardsmen!

Due to vast shortages of war materiel,* the forces of the Archenemy have been forced to scavenge all manner of bizarre equipment. Recently, we have become aware of so-called ?noise marines?, named for their delusional use of musical instruments in battle. Rest assured that these weapons are purely psychological in nature, and unlikely to cause any meaningful damage ? except perhaps, to good taste and decency.

RegStd-Dec12-NoiseMarineNEW1jvfr

As such, we have provided your regiment with an allotment of Special Issue Ear Protection Units. These should prevent any long-term damage.** In order to ensure swift execution of your commanding officers? orders, all Commissars have been instructed to increase the volume of their motivational litanies to a level above even the most devastating of the heretics? armaments.***

 

If Ear Protection Units fail to fit, inform your quartermaster and complete Mutation Self-report Form.

With your hard work, we can ensure these so called Noise Marines are silenced ? forever.

++ Thought for the Day: The man that sings the Emperor’s praise will speak a blessing all his days. ++

* Presumably caused by our glorious victories.

** In severe cases, you may experience ringing in ears/strange whisperings/explosive decompression of skull cavity. Please report any such unusual effects to your commanding officer.

*** Meaningful pointing may also be employed to aid clear communication.

Powered by WPeMatico

Author
Published
Array
Views 50