Attention, Guardsmen! We have some excellent news ? Planetary Governor Mikhael Van Der Strabb MXVI, Shield of the Ghoul Stars, Most Generous Contributor of the Tithe, Generous Upholder of the […]
We have some excellent news ? Planetary Governor Mikhael Van Der Strabb MXVI, Shield of the Ghoul Stars, Most Generous Contributor of the Tithe, Generous Upholder of the Emperor?s Will,* has requested a triumphal march through the Square of Conquest. Having seen picts from previous marches that he has organised, it is expected that the square be filled with Guardsmen, Leman Russ battle tanks and Deathstrike Missile Launchers such that it can be seen from the void.
Unfortunately, due to recent examples of excess valour, the entirety of your regiment would struggle to fill a medium-sized stateroom.**
So that you do not unduly mortify the Governor, we are presenting a new protocol. Once they have finished crossing the square, all infantry squads will be required to run around to rejoin the back of the march to present a more glorious display to our Planetary Governor. Any members of a tank crew that are not required to drive a vehicle will be issued with one (1) Ryza-pattern Synthetic Deception Facsimile Guardsman to deploy at several key intervals.***
This protocol has already proved to be a success on Vigilus where it fooled the arch-traitor Abaddon into thinking that we had deployed far more troops than we actually had.**** This accounts for the considerable difference between initial and final casualty reports.
Good luck, Guardsmen!
Remember ? faith and belligerence are perfectly adequate replacements for true numerical superiority, both on the parade ground and the battlefield.
++ Thought for the day: Through blood and fire I march ++
* These honorifics are presented in abridged fashion for the purposes of preserving valuable paper and time only. Addressing the Planetary Governor without using at least 20 of his primary titles will result in immediate conversion into an amasec-dispensing servitor.
** Not least due to your ill manners and inability to behave properly in such refined environs.
*** Guardsmen unable to keep up with the procession will be immediately assigned as builders/material for the Governor?s Wall of Martyrs.
**** Differences between expected and actual combat effectiveness was minimal.
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